Tuesday, November 19, 2013

the future.

"The future is waiting to be seized, and if we do not grasp it firmly, then other hands, more determined and bloody than our own, will wrench it from us and follow a different course."

The future.. such an interesting concept. Sometimes it's easy to get frustrated, not knowing Heavenly Father's complete plan for each of our individual lives. But you know what, I have learned that it just doesn't matter. If we press forward each and every day, and consistently are turning to Him in prayer to align our will with His, then what have we to fear? If we pray morning and night--prayer is a conversation with God, not a recitation to God--, read and study our scriptures diligently, and do all the small and simple things, then we have no need to fear. None whatsoever. I promise. (am I allowed to promise that you? I did anyways.) Heavenly Father will take care of us. always. Does that mean it will be easy? Heck no. Does it mean we won't want to give up? Heck no. Does it mean that our faith won't be tested? Heck no. But it does mean that Christ and the Enabling Power of his Atonement will guide our lives, comfort us, bring us joy, and create a means for us to accomplish anything. Anything. On the Lord's time of course.

Grace. Grace is real. And understanding it seems so complicated. But we can know Christ. I mean really and truly know him, and if we know him, we can understand Grace. So. why the intense quote about the future at the top? Because I still have two months left until I leave. 4 months to wait is painful--- Life seems to be moving slowly, but in retrospect it really is quite fast. I continually ask myself, and quite possibly Heavenly Father too, why I have to wait so long to leave? Why am I still here? Why am I going to school? And the answer comes slowly, but surely. Sometimes I recognize the tender mercy of the time I have to cherish with my family. Sometimes I see opportunities to serve and I know Heavenly Father has set those opportunities in my path for a reason. But today I realized it goes deeper than that.

Heavenly Father expects so much from me. Honestly he expects a lot from us all. But as I ponder on the things in my Patriarchal Blessing, I realize that Heavenly Father has given me this time to prepare so I can do his will. His will. Sometimes his will is scary. Sometimes I am afraid of failure. But when we press forward in faith, we will never be counted as failures. 

 I need four months to prepare, because the work he has for me to do, is harder than anything I have ever done in my whole life. Hard. Gut wrenching hard. And it's not for my benefit. It's for the benefit of God's children of whom I will teach. He expects me to be ready, to not waste any time while I'm in the field learning material I could have learned before I left. He will make my weak things become strong as I push forward. But I need to work harder now. Not work harder tomorrow. Not work harder when school gets out. Not work harder when I enter the MTC. 

I can imagine Him standing 3 inches from my face, getting close, speaking in a firm tone, almost spitting, telling me "Tori, this is the time. This is the time to prepare for you to dedicate 18 months to me and my work."  

That my friends is powerful to me. That is the future. But what I have taken so long to realize, is that the future is now. The future is today. Don't waste time. Ever. Be productive. Serve Continually. Fast. Pray. Learn of Christ. Be a Disciple. But most importantly--don't be afraid. Fear drives out all faith. 

After all, the future is as bright as your faith.