Tuesday, September 17, 2013

a moment of darkness

In my Religions of the World class we have been studying Buddhism for the past week and a half ishh. Today my teacher brought it to our attention that although they believe in multiple gods, Buddhists don't believe in a creator. And I just sat there. Dumbfounded... Literally I almost cried.
What the heck would I do if I didn't believe in a Creator? I think Heavenly Father taught me a valuable lesson as I sat there and began to imagine myself as just that. Here were my thoughts (and they seemed very real) as I imagined myself not knowing there was a God who created everything I know and love:
I began to feel completely and utterly alone. I pictured the entire world, all it's people, and wondered where they came from. How did I end up on earth? I sunk deeper and deeper into this feeling of loneliness and despair. Would I become dust after I was dead? What is the point of doing good or bad if it didn't carry on with us to another life? Again I felt lost. And again, deeper and deeper. Darker and darker. It was a feeling that is literally indescribable. It was like the world was suddenly moving at high speed, while I was in slow motion. The room expanded and the students sitting next to me looked a mile away. I saw everything from a different perspective. I then brought myself back to reality...

And I became so grateful for the knowledge and testimony I have right now. I know I'm not alone. I know where I came from. I know I was created in God's image. I know I am his daughter and that he loves me. I know his Son was sent to redeem the world. I know that there is a reason we are on Earth, to get a body, to be tested, to learn, to grow, and to help others grow as well. I know that I can be with my family forever. I know I'm loved. I know that this life is but a small pinpoint on a line that goes on forever. I know where I came from. I know who I am. I know where I'm going.

I know who I am. 

It amazes me. Amazes me that I'm here on Earth, here with my family, here with these people in my life--- all for a reason. Maybe a reason I don't yet comprehend all the way. But I know there's meaning to everything that happens. For this is his Plan, this is Heavenly Father's plan. And we are all a part of it!

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